Photo of flower buds with quote "There is no perfect way to be a good Step Mother. Each situation is unique. Each Step Mother has different challenges, skill, and abilities, and certainly different children. What matters that a Step Mother loves her children Deeply.

We are all unique, we cannot all parent the same.  However there is one rule that will work in every scenario that a Step Mother is faced with.  Love and react with the deep love you carry in your heart for your children.

Step Mothers come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities.  I would say most of us love our titles, some of us feel slightly burdened by it, and we have all felt hurt in our role for certain.  I wish there was a rule book.  A clearly written “how to” book with understandable numbered steps that I could apply to my life.  The reality is that there is no such thing.

Every situation is going to be different, childless Step Mothers, blended families, all sorts of different variables.  Not only are our circumstances different , but it is the people that we have to interact with too.  Some of us have beautiful relationships with our step children, others really have to battle everyday and may not get much affection at all.  In some cases the bio Mom and Step Mom all get along, and others want to pull each others hair out.

When we are faced with a difficult situation and are unsure how to react, there really is only one rule that applies.  React out of the love you have for your children.  Putting the kids first you really can’t go wrong.  I didn’t say that the advice would always be easy to adhere to.  I know how badly you want to lash out hurting.  Sometimes we have to self sacrifice now to win in the long run.

After the dust settles, I see the love that shines in my boys eyes when they look at me.  When they need advice on what is the right thing to do, they come to me.  Not because I am Mother Theresa or that I have all of the answers, they ask because they know I will be honest and send them down the path of making the right decision.  I have gained their trust by always putting their interest first in my life when other adults that are around them have not.

Loving your children deeply, you never really can go wrong.

~ Amy Elizabeth

Photo:  This one was snapped in my flower garden last year.  It is a delphinium getting ready to bloom.

Thank you so much for reading.  I want to tell you that you are doing a beautiful job being a Step Mother.  Maybe you have not heard it yet today, but your family is stronger because you are in it.

If you have enjoyed my writing, I would love to hear from you!  Leave a comment below.  It is easy, you sign up through Facebook so it isn’t like you are signing up for one more thing.  Do you want more?  Click around on some of my previous posts.  You could always subscribe, that way once a day you will receive my inspirational posts in your mailbox.  I won’t sell your email or anything, I will just be me emailing you about keeping your head up as you Step Mother on!

  • Ashley

    Love this post. It is such a true statement..

    • Thank you Ashley!
      We don’t have to worry about being like everyone else as long as everything we do is filled with love.

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  • Gussa

    I have a poor teen that is having a hard time adjusting to Dad having a girlfriend:( bio mom isn’t helping matters. Do you have any advice for Dad or I ?

    • Teens are tough because they are trying to figure out the world and their views are very narrow due to their lack of experience. They have a lot to learn – but think they have it all figured out. It is such a tough parenting age already – now toss in a divorce and a Step Mom.
      I would ask Dad to go on a “date” with the child. Have a real heart to heart about what has happened with their family and where Dad would like to see it go. The teen should be given a lot of time to talk and made to know that their opinion matters. They are old enough to understand that what is broken can’t be fixed. It is ok to mourn that for a while, but that we need to move on to heal. Dad should tell him why he has chosen you to be part of their lives. He really needs to let him know that he loves you deeply and that he hopes that the child will come around and do the same. Dad should ask specifically what their objections are and you may have a few things to adjust in your approach to the teen. I really believe that if the Dad builds a solid bridge – it will be much easier for your family to cross it.
      My other advice would be don’t try too hard. Kids can sense when you are over compensating. Take it slow and keep communication open. After Dad knows how the teen feels and you all discuss it, try to spend a little alone time with them when they are ready. NEVER say anything even a little negative about their Mother. If the child is slinging mud – defend her or stay neutral. Stay away from all drama, the more calm and collected you are the faster a child – even a teen – will grow to trust you.
      Please stay in touch and let me know how it goes! For daily advice look me up on Facebook too! We Are Momo
      ~ Amy Elizabeth

      • Gussa

        All this has been done unfortunately. I thought it was odd as they had been divorced for quite a few years. I am the first serious relationship though. Teen remains stubbornly silent and refuses to discuss anything. After 3 years of dating we are talking about moving our relationship to the next level. I am just at a loss. She has never mentioned her mother to me, and I have tried not to push myself on her. Her younger sister & my family work well together. I just ache for her. I just feel like this is a big power struggle between father/ daughter & I don’t know how to help them through it. I almost feel like she