You Hear A Lot Of Bickering As A Step Mom
In a blended family over a “traditional” family, more people are involved. More opinions and perspectives are floating around making even the smallest decisions all out war such as – which house packs the better lunch, who is going to pay for the winter coat that came home torn, who decides where the kids get their hair cut – Oh you know what I am talking about don’t you, the little things that wouldn’t ever be part of a traditional families conversations. The big decisions are tough, but it is the little battles that tend to to gnaw away at our happiness.
Our seemingly innocent “stands” for what we feel is right, often cause the edges of our families to fray. We start snapping at each other, saying “No” more than “Yes”, and flat out find our loved ones annoying. If you let it go too far the reasons why the family started in the first place fades into the distance. The warm fuzzies are replaced with hurt feelings and other ugliness.
Don’t let this happen. You can change it. Right now – today.
When engaging with your family – the minute you feel your eyebrow raise and before you open your mouth – stop. Don’t be reactive, instead concentrate on listening. Instead of “No” use “why”. Listen to them, hear their perspective, their reasoning might be surprise you. Next – find a reason to say yes. Be a flexible family member, this really isn’t about winning or losing. The more flexible you are – hopefully they will start to bend more too.
Its time to stop focusing on what is tearing you apart and hon in on what is keeping you together. Listening and saying yes are some of the most compassionate things we can do. You decided to unite as a family. The house was filled with laughter and your hearts with love. If those feelings have some how started to fade – it’s up to you to bring them back into focus.
With Love –