DON’T…

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“Ego says, “Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.”  Spirit says, “Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.”  Marianne Williamson

As a Step Parent it often feels like you are at war, filled with strategic planning to achieve victory.  Did you ever play the board game Risk in your family?  So often I think we end up feeling like pawns, waiting our turn to obtain the perfect position, forging alliances, and anticipating the actions of everyone around us – Husband, Bio Mom, Step Children, our Children, extended family, schools etc.  This “game” becomes consuming, it becomes who we are.

I want you to remember today who you REALLY are.  Take a day to fall silent and listen to what you REALLY want.  At your core what makes you happy?  Do you love to get lost in a book filled with details of someone else’s life?  Do you find joy in your garden?  What activity made you feel your happiest BEFORE you became tangled in your current complicated life?  Are you still practicing those activities or have you let it fall to the side?

For me it’s cooking.  I love it and the double bonus is so does my family.  Lately, I have been rushing through dinner as a chore rather than a passion.  Slowly electronics started coming to the table and children started to leave without being excused.  Loosing myself in the daily battle of Step Parenting and all it entails was clearly effecting everyone around me.  This week I went back to my planning and preparing and without a word, magically no more electronics and everyone stays for longer conversations.  I started to relax and it brings the family closer together.

As Step Mothers, our daily lives are filled with a lot of opposition, rejection, and heartache, but that is NOT who we are.  You are a lover, a Mother, a Teacher, and a nurse.  We are readers, artists, gardeners, and chefs.  Never let the actions of everyone around you take away what makes you the happiest on the inside.  If you let others take away your inner peace, you will never be able to gain peace around you.  Breathe, relax, and find your inner peace – and battle on!

~ Amy Elizabeth