No matter how big the waves, or how many sharks are with us in the water, just keep swimming.
“Swimming swimming swimming.” Sings Dory the fish in Finding Nemo the Disney classic as she swims in circles. As Step Moms we really need to take her advice, and a little of her happiness too.
Why are you a Step Mom? Did your husband keep his children hidden from you? Did he tie them in the basement until you exchanged vows? We become Step Moms because we love kids, specifically our husbands children. On the most wonderful day in your life you didn’t just marry a man – you married a family. You filled in a vacant spot in their hearts and lives, as they did for you.
In the beginning, before you officially became a Step Mom, you may have noticed evidence of a few struggles that lay ahead, but you knew that it was all going to be worth it. The bio Mom may have been cold and cruel, the kids may not have been overly receptive, but you thought you were going to win them all over. You jumped in and decided with your whole heart that this is what you wanted, because you love being a Mom.
You may not have realized just how many tears you were going to shed. How bruised not only your heart would be, but your ego too. You didn’t know how many waves of hatred, fear, and worry would wash over you every day. It is a struggle, some days more than others, just to keep your head up above the water. Waves crash over us,again and again, coming from different directions. We spend our time gasping for air, bracing for the next one. We fall still, not moving forward or backward. We tread water and survive.
This is the place many of us get stuck. Have you ever been here? Are you treading water today? If you are a Step Mom my guess would be that you do end up here from time to time, but this isn’t a healthy place to stay. Nobody should be only focused on survival. It strips you of your passion and drive. We find ourselves having to always be defensive for ourselves and our families. Negative feelings of doubt and not being good enough start to creep in.
If you ever find yourself treading water, focus on the fact that you love to swim. Our hearts swell with the love of our Step Children and family.We became a Step Mom because we are good people that want to guide the little people in your life. Step Mom’s laugh, have fun, and sometimes act silly.
It is up to you to let go of the drama that can come with being a Step Mama, or it’s going to sink you like an anchor.
~ Amy Elizabeth