Scheduling is one of the hardest things split families have to deal with. As Step Parents we are often left with the aftershocks when a scheduled event goes sideways from both the kids and our spouse.
Overall I am a go with the flow type of person. I don’t need a plan, well at least not when it is just Mr. Magoo and I anyway. However the other 50% of the time when the kids are around we DO need a plan just to have a little sanity. Kids need structure. They have expectations and it is up to the adults in their life to meet them.
The plan – chow down Dads eggs and french toast, (Mr. Magoo always makes the best breakfast) get dressed, and head off to Bio-Mom’s house. Expectations are clearly stated and the plan is set into action. Buzz Buzz…We receive the first text message (change 1). Bio-Mom does not want Monkey and Mojo until noon. Huh…That’s ok we can take them with us to lunch and the bookstore as we were planning to do by ourselves. Texting back we ask if we can drop off at 2pm instead to give us the time we need. Received an all clear back from Bio Mom so we explain to the kids that there is a change of plans and fill them in on the details (Change 2) – confusion written all over their faces, but shrug it off and pile into the truck. Pulling out of the driveway we receive yet another text….nope Bio wants them now, this instant (change 3). Ok…we explain to the kids that lunch is cancelled and we are dropping them off at Bio-Mom’s…
The kids were angry and my husband frustrated. I am sure they felt like bouncing balls, we all did – when or where was this going to stop? I explain to the boys that it makes sense. Mom loves them so much that she changed her mind and needed their hugs right away. (Mr. Magoo rolls his eyes, but understands why I am making the statement) Feeling better they climb out of the truck for hugs and kisses and are off to enjoy the rest of the day.
My husband and I continue on to the bookstore – heavy hearted because we saw the glimmer of hope that we would be doing this with our boys. We had a pleasant afternoon, but our puzzle pieces were missing.
It is up to us as Step-Parents to rise above the situation and not make it worse. This will help keep your spouse calm and your kiddos happy. The more serene you are the deeper your family will love you for it.
Sending you peace –