I'm Not here to be average. I'm here to be awesome!If it is the Step Mother’s job to take a back seat, or blend into the background in a child’s life, then I signed up for the wrong roll.

I have been reading a lot of articles on Step Parenting.  I agree with a lot of things, however some points of view leave me shaking my head.  It is as if we are being instructed to be seen, but not heard.  We get a front row seat to the circus to watch the show, but shouldn’t get involved.  That a Step Parent’s role is no different than that of a Aunt or Uncle.  That does not work for me.

Being a Step Mom means that every day I have to step up to earn the respect of those around me.  I do set my boys straight when they step out of line.  I do not EVER say a bad thing about either biological parent, Mom or Dad.  I do answer the tough questions they bring me as honestly as I can.  I do make them do chores and help raise responsible future adults.  I do listen to the things that I don’t think are very important today, so we can talk about the big stuff tomorrow.  I do attend school functions and doctors appointments.

I am a parent.  I don’t care what word you put in front of it or behind it, a parent is responsible for raising a child.  I think we are trying to shake the “Evil” title so hard that we are being instructed to be a door mats.  Folks we are not evil Step Mothers, but we are not Cinderellas either.  I am not going to cook, clean, and love with all of my heart hoping that someday I may receive a little respect.  Who respects the roll of the martyr?  You may get pitty, but that makes you pitiful.

With that said I respect that I am not a biological parent to my mini men as well.  The big decisions such as medications, school choice, major punishments I leave up to them.  If I am asked for advice, I will happily give it, however I will not be upset if the bio parents do not agree with me.  For some things we do have to understand that it isn’t our place.  This is the hard part of being a Step Parent that can be painful and hard to navigate, but necessary.

My boys tell me every day how awesome I am.  You know what – they are right.  I don’t sit on the side lines of my family, I get involved.  I would never settle for average in ANYTHING in my life and that applies to being a Step Mom too.  I am here to be Awesome, I hope you are too.

~Amy Elizabeth

Photo:  A twine ball that I put in a bowl as decoration.  When you actually spell that out, it sounds strange doesn’t it… 😉

Curious if you agree with me or disagree.  I would love for you to leave a comment and let me know. Thank you for reading and thank you for being Step Moms!


  • Mother of 4- RN

    I soooo enjoy your posts. I am a custodial ft step mom to a 5 year old girl who despite some silly strand of DNA… is MY daughter (oldest of my husband and mines 6 kids).. has been for all of her recollected life .
    Several years ago I too made the choice to be the step mom of all desirable step moms. I will not casually cook her dinner as an “additional mouth to feed”. .. I will make meals. Care for her activities of daily living. But most importantly. … I will be her best friend. Her mom. Her confidante. Her manicure. Braid instructor. Piano teacher. Cooking example. Homework assistant shopping pal. Righteous example . Her BONUS MOM. Mommy NOT step

    • Thank you soooo much for reading and letting me know that you are enjoying yourself! That means a ton to me as a writer and a Step Mom.
      I agree with you as far as all of the different things we are asked to Step up to do and then take a back seat. I love meeting other strong Bonus parents that are out there doing their best to create loving little humans with positive role models in their life.

      Keep up the great work and stay in touch! Keep the comment coming!
      ~ Amy Elizabeth